That Sinking Feeling

(Scriptures: Genesis 37:1-4, 12-28, Romans 10:5-15 Matthew 14:22-33)

One of the joys of my day job in accounting is that my boss has an endless stream of - accountant jokes. (It’s ok, he’s an accountant too. It’s ok when accountants make fun of ourselves.) For example, what’s the difference between an introverted accountant and an extroverted accountant? An introverted accountant looks at his shoes when he talks to you. An extroverted accountant looks at your shoes when he talks to you. How do you pick an accountant out of line up? Easy - It’s the guy wearing both a belt and suspenders….just to be sure his pants stay where they’re supposed to. All of which is to say that, while accountants are not known for their sparkling social skills, they – we - are legendary for being cautious, for doing what we can to anticipate everything – to use the words of Donald Rumsfeld, “the known knowns, the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns” - that could threaten the financial stability of their employer.

While Jesus told a parable about an accountant – remember the parable of the unjust steward – these days, it would be the parable of the Enron accountant – and while Jesus had a tax collector, Matthew, along his followers, today’s Gospel reading is not about Matthew the tax collector but Peter the fisherman. The outlook of an accountant and the outlook of a fisherman of Jesus’ day could not be more different. For an accountant, doing one’s job is all about being accurate about the things that are known, and being cautious in estimating the things that can’t be pinpointed. Accountants don’t like to take risks. However, for a fisherman, if he isn’t willing to take some risks, in getting into the boat and putting out into water, he and his family aren’t going to eat. And from the record of the Gospels, it appears that Peter and the other disciples were willing to take risks. More than once, the Gospels tell us of the disciples being caught on water in violent storms – I suppose it would be considered an occupational hazard.

Today’s Gospel reading is one of those times when the disciples were on the sea in rough water. Jesus had sent the disciples off in the boat to return to Genesseret, then went by himself up the mountain to pray. Meanwhile the disciples were fighting the wind and waves, and it was in the wee hours of the morning. Jesus comes to the boat, walking on the water, and the disciples start freaking out, thinking they were seeing a ghost. And Jesus told them not to be afraid. Peter, still not sure, told Jesus, “if it’s you, command me to talk on the water.” And Jesus, probably smiling a bit, went along with Peter – “ok, Peter, get out of the boat.” And, amazingly enough, Peter stepped out of the boat and started walking on the water toward Jesus – until, out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the waves and felt the wind whipping around him. He started to sink, and cried out for Jesus to save him. Of course, Jesus was there to catch him, and said to Peter, “you of little faith – why did you doubt?”

Why do we doubt? The church has often been compared to a boat, to an ark, a place of refuge for God’s people on the rough seas of life. Sometimes, though, we behave more like accountants than sailors; rather than leaving shore and taking a chance on the boat – and ourselves – getting bounced around, we’d rather keep the boat on shore, and content ourselves with painting the hull – and maybe sing some songs about sailing while we’re puttering around. We want to focus inward, caring for our building, caring for ourselves, taking care of our own. And it’s no great challenge to trust in Jesus when our feet are planted on solid ground, when our lives are humming along predictably. But Jesus calls us to get into the boat, and push out into the water. We want to focus on maintenance, but Jesus calls us to mission. He wants us, as the church and as individual believers, to actually go places and do things in his name.

So, ok, we’re on the water. We may need to adjust a bit – get over our seasickness, take some Dramamine if we need to – and the boat rises and falls, and we need to get our sea legs, adjust to walking on a deck that’s bobbing up and down, and there are occasional jolts – but, ok. We’re in the church. We’re doing mission. We’ve moved from being accountants to being sailors, and sailing is a good bit riskier than bookkeeping – but we’ve adjusted. We’ve learned to trust Jesus through the normal rise and fall of the waves.

But then there are times in all of our lives when the wind really starts whipping and the waves come crashing onto the deck of the ship. We wonder if God has forgotten about us. Or maybe God was never there to begin with – maybe it was our own voice we heard, telling us to leave shore. We feel ourselves taking on water, and we panic! What’s going to happen to us? We may be so terrified, so freaked out, that even when Jesus comes to be present with us, we don’t recognize him.

When Jesus calls, “it is I, do not be afraid” – what is our response? Remember that as long as Peter kept his focus on Jesus, he was safe, even out of the boat, doing something seemingly crazy, walking on the water. It was when Peter was distracted by the wind and waves going on around him that he panicked again, and began to sink. And of course Jesus didn’t let Peter drown, but reached out a hand to catch him.

By focusing on God, even when the wind and waves are swirling around us, we can find a calm place within us, a place that the wind and waves can’t touch. Even when our circumstances turn against us, when all that was once familiar to us seems strange and threatening, God does not abandon us.

Remember the story of Joseph that was our Old Testament reading. Joseph, who was his father’s favorite, became the object of his brothers’ jealousy. Joseph was taken from the security of his family and ended up in, of all places, Egypt. And yet, even in that strange place, Joseph kept faith with God, and God watched over him. In fact, Joseph was able to provide for his brothers in time of famine. At the end of his life, Joseph was able to tell his brothers, “what you meant for evil, God meant for good.” Like the Apostle Paul, we can affirm that “no one who believes in God will be put to shame.” Like the Apostle Paul, even when the wind and waves are swirling around us, even when all that we know has turned against us, we, like Paul, can affirm that “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Come what may, let us look to Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was waiting endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Amen.
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