In-Between

Scriptures:           Acts 1:1-26                  Psalm 93

                              I John 5:6-13              John 17:6-19

The 2004 movie “The Terminal”, starring Tom Hanks, told the story of an Eastern European man who was stuck in JFK airport.  His home country had undergone a civi war and a coup, so the US no longer recognized his passport, but for the same reason he couldn’t go back to his own country.  And so he took up residence in the airport.  To see how he got out, you’d have to watch the movie.  But in August of last year,  I myself actually was marginally involved in a real-life situation with some similarities.  My friend Ghassan, who is on our prayer list, is a Palestinian refugee from Gaza.  He is a peace activist, tried to build some friendships with a few Israelis, and criticized Hamas…and so he had to get out of Gaza.  After fleeing Gaza he first went to Malaysia, where he overstayed his visa and was expelled.  (Losing track of the calendar and overstaying his visa is sort of a recurring theme in Ghassan’s life.)   From Malaysia he went to Russia,  where he started taking classes.  Because he got behind paying for classes, his Russian visa was cancelled, and for that reason Russia deported him.  His university bought him a one-way ticket to Turkey – even though Ghassan knew that Palestinians needed special paperwork to enter Turkey, which he didn’t have.  The university told Ghassan that they had made arrangements and Turkey would accept him – but when Ghassan got there,  Ghassan learned that the university officials had misled him – basically they just wanted him off their doorstep - and that Turkey would not accept him.  And so Turkey sent Ghassan back to Russia, who sent him again to Turkey.    And so for two weeks his routine was to get on a plane from Russia to Turkey, get off the plane in Turkey, be flown back from Turkey to Russia, get off the plane in Russia, get on the next plane to Turkey, and over and over again.  Ghassan had friends in a number of countries – US, Turkey, Greece among others.  Between his friends,  we raised money for him to buy the special visa he needed, and we finally got him out of the airport.  He sent us a video of him finally walking through customs, with a great big smile on his face.  In the process the group who helped Ghassan became friends, and since rescuing Ghassan, we’ve helped a small number of other refugees who have gotten caught up in similar bureaucratic nightmares.

Until he got his visa, Ghassan was stuck in an in-between situation – not able to return to Russia, not able to enter Turkey.  He went back and forth, landing on the doorsteps of both countries, but not able to enter either country.  All he wanted to do was get settled someplace, but he spent two very frustrating weeks mostly in the air.

In our reading from Acts, Jesus gathered his disciples at the Mount of Olives.  After all that had happened, they were still hoping Jesus was going to lead Israel to independence from Rome, and so they asked him, “Lord, now will you restore the kingdom to Israel?”  Jesus began his response with the words, “It is not for you to know the times and seasons which the Father has set by his own authority.”  In other words, “Hey, disciples, that’s none of your business.  Stay in your lane.”  But then Jesus went on to speak of the coming of the Holy Spirit, and of them being sent out as witnesses in Jerusalem, in Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.  And then Jesus ascended to heaven, leaving his disciples standing looking up in the air with their jaws dropped.  While his disciples obviously didn’t follow him there, in a sense he also left them up in the air.  They had walked with Jesus, ate with him, watched him teach and heal, watched him change lives everywhere he went.  They had watched his arrest, heard of his execution, and were amazed at the news of his resurrection and of their own encounters with the Risen Christ.  But now he had ascended to the Father, and they were left to carry on in his absence.  He had said something about the Holy Spirit coming upon them, and about their being witnesses – but they had no way of knowing what Jesus might have meant by that.  And so the question weighed on their minds:  “Where do we go from here?”

So what did they do?  They stayed together, continuing to meet in an upper room.  They prayed together.  They took care of some organizational housekeeping.  They thought it was important that there be twelve designated apostles who had been with Jesus throughout his ministry.  Two candidates were proposed:  One had lots of names:  “Joseph called Barsabbas, who was also called Justus”.  The other’s name was simply “Matthias”.   They prayed, they drew lots, and Matthias was chosen.  So they had their twelfth apostle.  But it’s striking that we never hear again of either Matthias or of Joseph called Barsabbas and also Justus.    We have no record of their travels or teachings or healings.  We have no record of whether Matthias got a big head because he was chosen, or whether Joseph called Barsabbas and also Justus felt slighted because he wasn’t chosen, whether he stomped off in anger or sulked in disappointment.  We don’t know. Their names surface briefly in the beginning of the book of Acts, and then they sink into anonymity once again.

Jesus had told them that they would go to the ends of the earth to be his witnesses – but only after the coming of the Holy Spirit.  Until then, they were essentially marking time.  During this brief stretch, we hear of no great teachings or miracles.  They just went from day to day, taking care of whatever business was in front of them.  It wasn’t an especially memorable time, and yet it was a needed time, because they needed to adjust to living as Christians without Jesus standing beside them at every step of the way.   They needed to mature, to be leaders instead of the followers they had been up to this point.  They still had to rely on Jesus, as they had when Jesus walked with them, but in a different way. It must have been a very disorienting experience.   And yet, as they went from day to day, God was with them in their time of waiting.

We all have moments like this in our lives, when we feel like my friend Ghassan, stuck between two places, unable to go back to where we were, but not yet ready to move on to where we want to be.  When we’re infants, our parents are always there for us, picking us up, holding us.  But as we grow just a little older, our parents step back, just a little, watching us as we crawl and try to walk, but giving us space to explore just a little.  The day comes when we go to our first day of kindergarten, and while mom or dad might walk us to school or wait for the bus with us, we go alone.  And of course mom and dad are just a phone call away if anything goes wrong, but they’re  not physically sitting in class with us. We’re in a strange room surrounded by a strange teacher and a bunch of other kids, and it may take as a minute to adjust.  A dozen years or so later, we may move away from home for the first time to take a job or start a family or go to college, and even though our parents may still be just a phone call away, or maybe just a short walk or drive away, we’re still having to take on adult responsibilities, having to do the things our parents did without their standing over our shoulder at every step of the way. Perhaps we start a family of our own, and while our parents may be there cheering us on, ultimately our family is our responsibility….though sad to say, because of the addictions of their adult children, so many grandparents are finding themselves having to do it all over again, raising their grandchildren because their children’s lives have come undone, trying to find the energy in their 50’s and 60’s to do the things for their grandchildren that they did to raise their children in their 20’s and 30’s.  We’re in relationship with our parents all that time, but our relationship changes as we mature.  And decades later, it may be us caring for our parents, making decisions for them, keeping them out of harm’s way.  And after they go on to be with the Lord, we wish we could talk with them again, and maybe in some way we still feel their presence in our lives.  At each of these stages we may feel confused, overwhelmed, for a time wanting our relationship with our parents to go back to the way it was before.  At any of these moments we may feel stuck, may feel like we’re spinning our wheels…and yet, this is all part of maturing, all part of living into the persons God is calling us to be.  God willing, we find the resources to move forward and live into the responsibilities that are in front of us.

There are seasons in our lives, just as there are seasons of the year.  We go through seasons in which everything is humming along, we’re happy and productive, when God’s in his  heaven and all’s right with the world.   We may go through seasons of grief, when we really need the support of community and the presence of God to keep us standing.  And then we may go through fallow seasons,  fallow like farm land that has been left unplanted for a season, times in which we don’t feel wonderful or terrible, but just so-so, doing what needs to be done, but like we have little to show for our days.  And we may wonder where God is in these moments.  We may wonder if God is disappointed in us.  But these fallow seasons may provide needed opportunities for growth and learning, providing resources for the journey.  God knows that they’re necessary.  Though it was brief, the disciples experienced this kind of fallow time between Jesus’ ascension and the coming of the Holy Spirit, and it was necessary in order for them to adjust to relating to Jesus in a new way.  The key is to be listening for God’s direction in our lives during these times of adjustment.

Just as God was with the disciples in their in-between time, so God is with us in our transitions and adjustments and fallow times.  God is with us, whether we can feel God’s presence or not.  In our times of transition, may we be open to the leading of the Spirit as we wait for the future God has for us. Amen.