Love (4th Sunday in Advent)

Scripture:        Isaiah 7:10-16, Psalm 80:1-7, 17-19

Romans 1:1-7, Matthew 1:18-25

This Sunday, along with the first three Advent candles of hope, peace, and joy, we light the fourth Advent candle of love.  And at this time of year, the word “love” brings us feelings of warm fuzzies – taking the little ones to see Santa at the Rec Center or the mall, going with a loved one to the Christmas Village downtown, looking at the stalls with their exotic wares, some hand-crafted, perhaps walking around downtown Philly or Old City or any number of Philadelphia neighborhoods to see the Christmas lights.  This year, my former congregation, Old First, has a Christmas creche without live animals.  Two years ago, there was chaos when Stormy the Cow wandered away from Old First’s Christmas creche – twice – the first time ending up on I95 and the second time in a parking garage.  Two years later, KYW 1060 still mentions the cow on I95 in their ads for their “traffic on the twos” segments.  After that fiasco, Old First ended their 40-year live animal creche tradition – though there will be a live Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus on Christmas Eve.  It’s a time for eggnog – my friend Clinton called me midweek from the Rockview State Correctional Institute to wish me a Merry Christmas and told me to drink some eggnog for him, since he won’t be having any on the inside.  As I tell people sometimes, I have friends in high places, friends in low places, and friends in strange places.  And so while I’m not a big eggnog drinker, perhaps I’ll raise a cup of eggnog for my friend Clinton.

As we light the fourth Advent candle, this Sunday we read Matthew’s rather brief account of the birth of Jesus, which focused on Joseph.   Last week we talked about Mary, but today, Joseph gets his moment in the spotlight.   In our Gospel reading, Joseph models the costly love that God gives us, and that God asks from us for others.

Matthew’s Gospel begins with a genealogy – Joseph’s genealogy, to be exact.  And for us, genealogies are booooooooh – riiiiing.  So and so begat so and so begat so and so…….zzzzzzzzzzzz.  All those old names – who could possibly remember them all, let alone care about them.  But for people in Biblical times, your genealogy told you where you came from and who you were….sort of like people in our time who trace their genealogies – a few of whom come my way to see if I can tell them anything about their ancestors in our cemetery – or who send saliva samples to 23andme to have their DNA traced.  Joseph’s genealogy has famous names – Abraham, the patriarch of the Jewish people, of course, and also the royal blood of Kings David and Solomon.   In the genealogy, Matthew also mentions four women, four female ancestors of King David – very unusual in a genealogy – Tamar, who pretended to be a prostitute to bear children to Judah, Rahab, who was a prostitute and who gave shelter to Israelite spies scouting the city of Jericho – and was married into the Davidic line, Ruth the Moabite widow who married King David’s great-grandfather Boaz, and Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah whom David took as his wife and who gave birth to Solomon.   All four of these women acted unconventionally, even scandalously, in continuing King David’s line.  By prefacing Joseph’s story with this genealogy, with its hints of scandal, Matthew seems to be preparing his readers for the unconventional and even scandalous story of Mary and Joseph and the child Jesus.

 And then we come to today’s Gospel reading where we meet Mary and Joseph. In the customs of the time, with the guidance of their parents, the bride and groom would enter a marriage contract. When the contract was signed, on paper, they were married, but the marriage would not have been consummated until some time later, perhaps years later. The groom would come to claim his bride, the marriage would be consummated, and a feast would ensue.  And in that culture, the bride’s virginity prior to the consummation of the marriage was of paramount importance.  In our Gospel reading, Mary and Joseph would have signed a marriage contract, but the marriage would not have been consummated.  We learn that Joseph’s fiancé Mary is pregnant, and while Joseph initially did not know the child is from the Holy Spirit, he did know one thing: the kid wasn’t his. While we’re told that Joseph is a decent man – a stand-up guy – in terms of going ahead with the wedding, this baby was a deal-breaker. As Joseph initially understood his situation, he had two options, both bad. He could make a stink, create a public scandal, even have Mary stoned to death for adultery, if he wanted to push that option to its limit. Or he could quietly break things off with Mary… if anyone asked why, he could just tell them, “things just didn’t work out between us.”   The marriage contract would be annulled, and that would leave Joseph free to go on with his life and marry someone else – though Mary as an unwed mother would be in a very precarious position at best, as she would not be seen as a desirable marriage partner, and a woman alone would likely live in poverty. The Holy Spirit gave Joseph another option: marry Mary and raise her child as his own. And this is the option Joseph chose.

It was a life-giving option for Mary and for Jesus, but a costly option for Joseph. He would be raising a child not his own, not even getting to choose the child’s name.  Luke’s gospel then tells us of his journey to Bethlehem, in response to the decree of Caesar Augustus for a census and taxation, with his very pregnant wife, and Mary’s giving birth in the stable because there was no room in the inn.  Matthew’s gospel then tells us about Joseph’s continued costly love that left him and Mary and the child in Egypt for a time as refugees from the murderous intentions of Herod.   We remember the story of Jesus in the Temple with the elders, when Mary and Joseph had to return to Jerusalem to hunt high and low for Jesus.  Even after he was back home, his neighbors would whisper behind his back about Jesus’ parentage from that day forward…..and we  hear no more of Joseph after Jesus began his ministry.   Joseph’s obedience to God and love for Mary and the baby imposed one burden after another on Joseph.  And Joseph had no way to know who Jesus would become or how important it was that he care for Jesus.  No choirs were singing carols for Joseph as he provided for Mary and the child.  And yet, Joseph was faithful.  Indeed, such was the love Joseph showered on Jesus, that Jesus taught his followers to look on God as “Father”.

Dorothy Day, founder of the Catholic Worker movement, often quoted Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov in saying that “Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.” Dorothy Day’s words reflect her experience as she acted in love toward New York City’s homeless and helpless.  Joseph’s love for Jesus brought harshness and dread into Joseph’s life.  It was a fully-committed love – at every turn, despite every burden and obstacle, Joseph was all in on providing and protecting Mary and the child.  We were told early in Matthew’s gospel that Joseph was a stand-up guy, and Joseph stood up for Mary and the child at every turn.

Dorothy Day said that “Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.”  Mary’s story in Luke’s gospel may leave us with an example of faithfulness that’s hard to connect to – but I think we can connect to Joseph’s story.  Being committed in our relationships, loving when it’s difficult, being there for others when we’d prefer to be anywhere else.  Think of the things we do for those we love, our spouse and our children - changing diapers, cleaning up vomit, visiting in the hospital, watching our loved ones cry themselves dry and scream themselves hoarse, and still being there for them - and being brave in standing up for them and protecting them from harm.  None of these things, none of these things are fun or enjoyable – but we do them from love.  In doing these things, we walk in the path of Joseph, whose example shaped Jesus’ view of God as Father.  And beyond our own family circle, there’s the wider circle of the church, the family of God’s people, the family of faith, and beyond that our neighbors, those others for whom Christ also died.  The challenge of discipleship is taking those things we do for our family, and being willing to do the same for strangers.  Obeying God’s command to love neighbor as self will have us talking to people we’d prefer to ignore, going places we’d prefer to avoid, doing things that are difficult if not painful…and thanking God for the privilege to be God’s hands and feet.

Hope, peace, joy, and love – these are the Advent candles we light.  These are the candles that light our path to the manger, as we prepare for the coming of Christ in our hearts, our lives, our world.

I’ll close these words from African American pastor, theologian, and mystic Howard Thurman.

I will light candles this Christmas,

Candles of joy despite all the sadness,

Candles of hope where despair keeps watch,

Candles of courage for fears ever present,

Candles of peace for tempest-tossed days,

Candles of grace to ease heavy burdens,

Candles of love to inspire all my living,

Candles that will burn all year long.

Amen.